perhaps i’ll stay here for just a minute longer…

Teach me about grief 

Have you ever grieved in silence ?

How is it that your loss is so consuming 

So loud in my silence 

So consuming in my oblivion

You’ve become so prominent in your loss

Did it really take this for me to see you everywhere ?

I remember you in your pure kindness  

In your effortless humor 

In your charming ability to take things with ease and care; to say yes to everything.

In your security 

I miss it when when living in the present felt like home 

Perhaps loss is difficult because it strips you off of your essential source of happiness 

Perhaps I’m struggling 

Perhaps it’s more difficult than I anticipated 

Perhaps I’m furious and angry

Perhaps I’m confused 

Perhaps I blame my anger on my inability to identify my emotions 

Perhaps I’ll never know

Perhaps maybe in a week 

Or a month 

When you’re back,

I’ll be able to come back to myself.

In the meantime

As whispers of your loss linger in my present,

I’ll remain in the past for just a minute longer.