i loved you when you were MANIC
Ch. 6
Our love is intense.
Amplified.
Call it what you want.
But it’s strong
And I don’t know how to feel about it
Ch. 29.
I am pregnant with my third child.
I am living in bliss
In total and epic romance
Ch. 3
You introduced yourself
I gladly accepted.
There weren’t any sparks
It was still new
But I knew what we had wouldn’t end here
Ch.31
Your father died
I haven’t seen you in days
Ch. 19
You and your father have been locked in the conference room for days
Discussing
Business
Where will this deal end?
Ch. 12
You just told me.
That i was the first girl you laid eyes on.
And couldn’t look anywhere ever since.
Of course you said it in your Lebanese accent.
My new favorite thing of yours.
Ch. 39
This is a new side to you that I haven’t seen before
A heightened ambiance
of a burdensome hysteria
Ch. 21
Our first child was born today
You told me it was a girl.
In your Lebanese accent.
And in that very exact moment.
I knew it was my new favorite.
Ch. 32
You’ve been locked in your room for days
The kids have been asking about their father
About yours
But I choose to stay silent and give you your time
Ch. 40
You’ve been entering.
In and out.
Of business deals.
I am worried.
Ch. 18
Your father turned you into a workaholic
he turned you into a handyman of all things corrupt
That you equate a new business deal with happiness
Ch. 50
I’ve never seen you cry before.
Not when our first child was born
Not when our second
Not when our third
Not when your father died
I saw you cry when you lost a business deal
For the first time
Ch. 45
You just made a public announcement
In our dinner table
Held my hand and said:
“we’d soon own a plane”
To our children
I know why you used the word ‘we’
You wanted me to be a part of a future you planned out for yourself
Without any consideration of my opinion
or the future
of our home
Ch. 140
Im yours.
You’re mine.
We cannot live without each other i’ve learned
Ch. 1
You saw me from across the room
I had no knowledge of your existence
Ch. 190
You said thank you
And that you loved me in your Lebanese accent
I see right through it now
But I cannot help myself from
Loving you
I cannot help but get back to you after leaving you
You first laid eyes on me when I was only 16
I do not know how to live without you
Even if you’re the worst thing that ever happened to me
I cannot unlearn history
I cannot unlearn lifestyle
I cannot unlearn love
because I loved you when you were manic
tell me how I could’ve escaped that
I dare you.
